The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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