i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
