You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
