Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
