You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize