I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize