we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
