mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
