Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
