ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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