Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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