Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
