I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
