oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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