Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize