I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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