how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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