His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
