Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
