that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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