That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
