she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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