How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
