...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
