Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
And then the night went full on bisexual.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
