i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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