he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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