508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
