guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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