I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
