I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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