literally had 100 drinks last night.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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