I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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