He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
