Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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