On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Randomize