Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
