Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
