It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Welp...herpes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize