I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
