Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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