Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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