hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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