I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize