My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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