Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
