Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
