Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
