do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
