Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
