he told me I talked like a deaf person
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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