i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
