He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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