No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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