how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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