Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
