His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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