when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
